So I’ve decided to sell my house in the suburb and settle for a peaceful life in the heart of nature. I got the house sold, bought a pickup truck and packed all my bags.
Day 0 – Arrived at my new cabin lodge. It is so peaceful and quiet here. There a short dirt track leading to my cabin with lovely trees all around. The cabin is a small wooden lodge, built on a ridge with an amazing view right on top of the treeline. I’ve unpacked all my bags and it’s time to relax. Peaceful life in the heart of nature awaits me!
Day 1 – Woke up in the morning with a lovely sunrise right on top of the treeline. There are some amazing song birds singing in the morning, I still have no idea what birds they are, but they sing beautifully. In the afternoon I got to see the old trees surrounding my cabin. I love the noise the leaves make when a gust of wind hits them. In the evening I can see some possums climbing from branch to branch and sometimes on the roof my cabin. I love nature!
Day 2 – The cottage is well equipped with a chemical toilet, a water tank that get’s filled by dew and rainwater and I even have a fireplace! I decided to go fishing down by the river today. Caught a few small colourful fish, I still have no idea what type they are but it sure feels nice to be living of off nature. I have no cares in the world!
Day 6 – Life is so peaceful here that I can’t understand why anyone would choose to live in the squalor of the big city! There’s exotic birds and fish and trees and possums and all this clean air and sunshine. I like it here.
Day 10 – Today I had to go to the nearest town for some supplies. It rained a bit in the afternoon and I had a bit of trouble getting back to my cottage on the muddy road. Still the rain bring out all the amazing flower smells and it was nice to have a hot cup of tea by the fireplace.
Day 15 – This morning I woke up with the sun in my face which wasn’t all that pleasant I was a bit cranky all day so I stayed in reading some newspapers I got from the shop. I’m so disconnected by all the terrible news happening in the city.
Day 21 – So today I had to go into town to get more supplies. On the way back I got my car stuck in the mud so I had to carry all these cans of food through the mud. I’m a bit pissed off to be honest. Tried relaxing in the evening but those possums scratching on the roof are getting on my nerves a bit.
Day 25 – Ok I need to get some curtains or something. That blasted sun keeps waking me up in the morning! I feel like I’m being abducted by aliens every morning! And some of those birds are so god damn loud! Is it mating season or something?
Day 28 – Ran out of food again and my car won’t start. Went fishing but I keep catching these small fucking bony fish and it’s really frustrating.
Day 34 – I’m so hungry and tired. I swear I’ll get a shotgun and start shooting the ceiling if I hear one more god damn possum shitting on my roof! I’m sick of shitting in a plastic bucket all the time and would really love some clean water!
Day 37 – I have to boil this god damn rainwater everytime I wanna have a drink. I need to get a chainsaw to get rid of that fucking tree outside. It’s home to these trumpet birds and flying skunks! Every finger fish I catch from now on I’m goal kicking it back in the fucking lake.
Day 39 – My clothes smell like crap. I have to boil water in the used beans cans and even after I boil the damn thing it still gives me the shits. Another bird shit on my head while I was emptying my honey bucket which has no more chemicals left, so I’m basically taking dumps in a plastic bucket with a lid! Gonna throw some poprocks candy on the balcony hopefully those birds explode eating that crap. I boarded up my windows so that god damn sun doesn’t wake me up every morning, probably gave me skin cancer by now!
Day 42 – How can someone live like a fucking rat out here? It’s smelly and noisy. It takes me two hours to get to the nearest town where all they have is god damn candy and cans of beans that tear my asshole to shreds! Peaceful life in the heart of nature my ass!
Day 45 – I’m selling this barn and going back to the city! Or maybe I should just burn it down to make sure no one else suffers! This was a stupid idea!
Hope you enjoyed it! 🙂 A bit more fun can be found here!